Our Back-to-School favorites!!!!

I know school is starting, like NOW for most of us, but hopefully some of you haven't started yet and can enjoy these favorites of ours!! 

I love this survival guide!  Unfortunately, I came (back) across it at midnight before school started and I wasn't going back to the store (for the millionth time that day) to get these things.  But next year I will use it and maybe you will love this too! Laurie from Tip Junkie created two versions of the Survival Kit.  I LOVE both of them!!  So, grab some Smarties, an eraser and a lollipop and give them version one, or grab a rubber band, Band-Aid, and gum ball and do version two!  So cute!  Our Kindergarten teacher does her own version of a little kit she gives the kids at back-to-school night, so I know kids love these things!!!  Check it out here~at Tip Junkie!!

Have you ever checked out Kristin Duke Photography??  If not~go~NOW!! Okay, not NOW-now.....but right after reading this post! ;)  I love her stuff.  She posts tons of fun things and good tips!  A few years ago she created lunch box jokes!  Her boys were getting older and she still wanted to leave them notes, but not be embarrassed if their friends found her mushiness.  So she created these awesome, cute, kid-friendly jokes.  You can print these off and pop on in their lunch box every few days!  Awesome!  Definitely go check these out for your kids!! 

My kids are in first and kindergarten this year.  (and preschool) Although they can read well, they can't quite read all those above.  So, I found these lunch box notes!  Brie from Darling Doodles (another really cute blog here ladies) created these notes/jokes.  Most of them are perfect for my younger kids who can read the fun "You are a Star" or "You're the Apple of my Eye" ones!  So go and get your printables!!  Also, if you look underneath in the "you may also like" section, you can see that there are other Holiday and season themed ones.  Wonderful!  You can use them all year long!!!

If you are Pinterest, or even Google savvy, you know there are TONS of back-to-school photo ops to choose from!  There really are~sooooo many cute ones! I came across these ones a couple years ago and have used them every year! I love them so much!!!  They are so adorable and the kids love holding the fun sign and seeing their change each year with the sign pictures!  These are from Jamielyn at I Heart Naptime!  (and yes, I totally loooove her blog too, so go there also)!!!  Click here and you can save and print your own from Jamielyn!  They are adorable!!!

 
 

 
My kids love our annual back-to-school breakfast!  I've done these every year too and they love them and ask every day if they are getting their "letter pancake!" 

 


















The next tradition isn't quite as fun, but it is the most helpful!  I've done this for the last couple years too.  Glennon at Momastery shared a very sweet, personal story.  Please go here to read her post and her letter.  It's very touching and sweet!   Now, I do share this story, to some extent each year.  My kids are all of different ages and understanding about things so I do it one-on-one at their level.  I read the entire thing to my oldest two last year and this year, but before that I gave a simple, heart-felt discussion about picking on others.  After the story, I share my experience of the hell that was fifth grade and all the feelings that go with those experiences! Then, we have our own Talk.  Don't pick on others, but also, if you see others picking on someone, don't sit by and watch.  There are times you don't pick on someone, and that nobody else picks on them either, but that's not always enough.  Most of the time you have to make the choice to be nice, to say hi, to introduce yourself.  Just because we aren't doing something wrong, doesn't mean we are doing it right. 

I don't know if it's my son's personality, or The Talk the night before, but something helped him last year.  On the very first day of school, he saw a boy sitting alone on the bench at school.  He invited him to play.  They played every day that year.  That was one of his "kindergarten besties" or "the boys" as he put it each day.  Every day when I pick up the kids, I'd ask, "who did you play with today?"  He would usually answer, "the boys" and I knew who that included.  (ew..I hate that word..because they were all nice boys and didn't exclude anyone...) but sometimes he would say, "the boys.  And I brought Spencer (or Porter, or Isaac, etc) to play with us too."  And from that day forward, "the boys" included that person.  Yesterday was their first day.  He said he played with "the boys and he introduced them to Jordan!"  Yes, I am proud of him daily, but there will probably be a time where it isn't natural for him and someone might make fun of that boy and so it'll scare him away from inviting him to play.  And hopefully, if that time comes, he will remember The Talk we had that year and make the right choice. 

This is my favorite tradition because, well, because it is, unfortunately, very necessary.  Welcome to The Talk!

Okay friends~I hope you enjoyed my Back-to-School roundup!!  We love these great traditions and I can't wait to add in the newest one at the very top!! 

Have a happy day~Kasey

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6 steps to prevent bullying

So how do we actually help prevent bullying?  What can we do to stop it? 

Open Communication~Explain to your child or student what exactly bullying is in terms appropriate for their age and maturity level.  They need to be fully aware of all the complexities that bullying entails. (refer to this post for an overview)  Most children know that physical abuse is bullying, and wrong, but they need to understand the way they talk to each other and excluding others are also forms of bullying.  In this open dialogue inform the children or students exactly what they do if they are the victims of bullying.  Make the communication very open so the child will feel comfortable enough to be open with you about whether or not they understand what bullying is and whether or not that have been bullied before.  The communication must be a two-way, open, street!

Being a Bystander is Not Okay~Sitting back and watching the harrassing behavior is not okay!  Teach your children or students to have empathy for other people.  Even my 3 year olds understand the concept of, "how does it make you feel when someone is mean to you?  So how do you think it makes them feel when you are mean to them?"  It's a simple concept that, if started at a young age, has great outcomes of how we treat one another!  Kids need to know that not only is bullying not tolerated, but neither is sitting around and watching bullying. Not everyone is going to feel okay with standing up to the one who is doing the bullying.  That's okay.  But let them know that it is okay, and necessary, to tell a parent, teacher, or other trusted adult about it right away.  Doing this is not tattling, it is preventing someone from getting seriously hurt and/or upset. 

Know the Policies~Whether it is your workplace or your child's school, know their policies on bullying!  You can't help them, and they can't inform you if you don't know and understand their policies.

Pay Attention~Some children may be reluctant to open up verbally about bullying, whether they are embarrassed, or think it's their fault.  As the parent, you must watch for warning signs!  Is your child suddenly reluctant to go to school? A very high amount of headache or stomachach complaints?  Has there been a sudden behavior change, like anger or anxiety? Does he or she seem sad most of the time? Are the having sudden issues with siblings or parents? Trouble eating or sleeping? Has there been a sudden drop in their academic or extra curricular performance?  Are they suddenly missing or having damaged belongings?  Are there unexplained injuries? 

Don't Wait~When you suspect bullying, don't just sit back and wait for someone else to solve the problem.  Don't think of it as harmless teasing or "kids will be kids."  Get up and stand up against bullying yourself.  Tell the child to stop bullying.  Let them know that it is not okay, what they are doing.  Talk to the principal or the child's parents.  Do something!  If a bully realizes he is getting away with it, it will continue.  If it immediately gets stopped, though he may try again, he will eventually give up because it is either not working or he is the one getting into trouble. This will also prevent others from trying to bully another.

Be a Good Example~That old adage "actions speak louder than words" is as true today as it has always been.  Children, espeically, will model our behavior.  We cannot tell them to "play nicely" or "treat that person with kindness" and honestly expect them to listen when they see us excluding others or hear us talking badly about another person.  Though some kids may seem like parrots, they all will always copy what we do!  We need to show them how to be kind, respectful, and compassionate towards others.

Have a happy day~Kasey

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Effects of bullying

Bullying effects all involved.  The bullied.  The bully.  The bystanders.  Those effects don't go away once the moment of bullying is over.  They last, and usually effect people in different ways throughout their entire lives.

The most obvious person to be effected by bullying is the one being bullied.  

What happens to the bullied?

After years of research and studies done and stories shared, it has been easy for researchers to list the consequences of bullying to the victim.  There are psychological issues: anxiety, loneliness  low self-esteem, depression, and various psychosomatic symptoms.  Social confidence and abilities are also effected and victims tend to withdraw socially.  Academics are often strongly effected.  Performance is lowered, students often skip out of school or classes, and some will even argue with their parents to refuse to go to school.  There can be physical complaints of both illness and injury.  Some victims run away from home, begin using drugs and/or alcohol as an escape, or even commit suicide as a result.  Adults who look back on their days of being a victim of bullying are often also suffering from high rates of depression, social anxiety, pathological perfectionism, and greater neuroticism in adulthood.  Adults who viewed their experience as a mild version of bullying do tend to replace their feelings of unhappiness and anger with determination and enjoyment while those who viewed their experience as extreme show results in personality and attitude throughout their entire lives.  (keep in mind, we never know whether it is a mild case or extreme case, what it may turn into, and how the victim may view their experience).

The next person effected by bullying experiences is the one doing the bullying.  

How is the bully effected?

In the moment of the bullying act, the bully seems to come out on top. They are often cheered for and promoted when they commit an act of bullying.  However, the bully suffers negative consequences as well.  They, too, suffer psychological consequences, such as anger, depression, aggressiveness, hostility, domineering, and extremely hyperactive.  They often act-out and experience high-conflict within their friendships.  They often show little desire to achieve good things academically.  They can be linked to alcohol and/or drug use as well.  One specific study shows that 60% of those who bullied in grades 6th and/or 9th had at least one criminal conviction by age 24 and  35-40% had three or  more convictions, as compared to a group of non-bullying men.  Another specific study asked men if they were bullies at age 14, then 18, and then again at age 32.  The results showed that one in every five men who admitted to bullying at age 14 also admitted to being a bully at age 32, 18 years later.  61% of those who were still bullies at age 32 were highly aggressive and that 20% had been convicted of violence.

Think that's it?  Bystanders are affected too.  

How?

Watching bullying can have different effects on different people.  Some may react similarly to the victim while others will be effected likewise to the perpetrator.  Some may become anxious about going back to that environment again.  They may experience sadness and sometimes depression.  They may hole-up and become extra shy and reserved as to not become a victim.  Their grades could either excel, since they are backing away socially, or could drop because their mind isn't focusing on academics.  They could also go the opposite way and become angry, aggressive, and start bullying themselves so they won't become the victim of another bully.  

Each and every person who experiences acts of bullying are effected.  The bullied.  The bully.  The bystander. No one is exempt from seeing results of these acts in their lives.

(click here to see the bibliography of many of these studies)

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Sign the Petition!

Join me and sign the online petition, "The End of Bullying Begins with Me!!" Just click here to sign at the National Bullying Prevention Center!  This website is full of wonderful information and stories.  There is also a petition for Elementaries, Middle Schools, and High Schools to be printed off and displayed at your school!

Have a happy day~Kasey

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A successful story of choosing not to be a bystander!

I came across a beautiful story today!  The senior Quarterback of an Arizona high school football team took it upon himself to break stereotypes and protect against bullying instead of condoning it.  

A high school Sophomore, Chy Johnson, was born with a brain disorder and has been a victim of bullying much of her life. When she started to experience bullies at her new school, her mother contacted a family friend, Quarterback Carson Jones.  She was trying to get information on who was doing this to her daughter so she could make the necessary steps to put a stop to it. 

She never needed to.

Carson Jones was a lunch one day and brought Chy in to eat with him and many of his football friends.  She has been eating lunch with them ever since.  From start to finish of the school day, these boys are on constant watch to make sure she is kept safe.  They don't see much "heroism" in their simple act of kindness, but Chy hasn't been the victim of bullying since then.  

Sometimes..all it takes is a simple act of kindness....

The link to the full story and video is: http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/highschool-prep-rally/arizona-student-special-needs-avoids-bullies-protection-football-112516229.html

Please check out the news video.  It is beautiful to see these boys in their quest humility and honest acceptance!

Have a happy day~Kasey

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Bullying is:

Bullying:

* Intentional, aggressive behavior 
* Given in the form of physical or verbal harassment.
* Can include teasing, insulting someone, shoving, hitting, excluding someone, or gossiping about someone.
* Can cause the victim to feel upset, afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, and anxious about going to school.
* Usually is repeated unless there is immediate intervention. 

Do those words do anything to you?

Do they make you feel anything?

How about these...

Harsh verbal words~physical acts of violence~Words of hate through technology~

It MUST stop!

Definition from Child Parenting
Pictures in order form:
World.Edu
Wikipedia
National Tourette Syndrome Association
Penn State College of Health and Human Development
Tri-City Psychology Services
Mother Nature Network
Finding Dulcinea
Schaeffer Elementary
CBS Chicago
Health Made Easy

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Statistics

* About 77% of students have admitted to being the victim of one type of bullying or another.

* 1 out of ever 4 kids will be bullied sometime throughout their adolescence.

* About 1 in 7 students in grades Kindergarten through 12th is either a bully or has been a victim of bullying.

According to the statistics, if you are reading this you have probably been bullied in some form or another.


Here's my story~I will never forget this day..even the small details will be forever etched in my memory.



       I was in 5th grade, the last wonderful year of elementary.  I was also the new girl.  Not a good combination.  I was enjoying school and had friends.

Or so I thought.  

       The day was a beautiful,  bright, sunny day.  I, as most kids my age, was so excited to go outside for recess. The time finally came and the whole class, along with the other two 5th grade classes, ran for the outdoors, the basketball courts, the playground, the 4-Square boxes.  A group of us gathered around and one girl suggested that we play the memory game.  This was a game we had played before.  One person does something, a cartwheel, leap, dance move, etc. and the next person goes and does what the previous person did then adds on, and it goes on to the next person and so forth.  No big deal right!!~wrong!!

       The first girl went and did a cartwheel.  The second girl did a cartwheel and then added hers, a back-handspring.  Then I was told it was my turn.  Uhh..okay..I didn't, still don't, know how to do a back-handspring.  I tried to tell them that.  The same girl looked around at the others, who started to giggle (I know..my first sign right..) and said, "It's okay!  Most of the group can't.  Just try and then we can move on."  So I stood up and went to the front of the group.  I did my cartwheel.  I began to transition from cartwheel to back-handspring when I saw it.  One of the worst thing I've ever actually seen with my own eyes.  

Running.

Every single one of them was running.

Away from me.

       At first I thought, "hey what's going on..I'd better go see!"  So I actually went after them! (I know..pretty dumb right..) 

They kept running.

And laughing.  I will never forget that sound.

I stopped.

I turned.

I walked away towards the school building.

I stood in the corner against the wall.

       A girl came up to me and asked me what was wrong.  I told her.  She wasn't happy about it.  She left to go find a teacher.  While she was gone, one of the girls in the group, the same one who did the back-handspring, came up to me and apologized.  She said it wasn't her fault, wasn't her idea, and she shouldn't have gone along with it. (yeah right huh!)  But, I said okay and said it was fine.

     Then I heard the bell..thank goodness it was time to go back to class!  Exactly what I wanted. Exactly what I needed.  

Except I missed most of that afternoon of class.

       About five minutes into class the door opened and there, standing in the doorway was that group of girls.  To say I didn't want to see them would be an understatement.  They asked if I could be excused and my teacher agreed.  (my guess is he knew about what happened or else he wouldn't have agreed to let me out of class for some "friends.")  We went in the hallway and the flood of apologies came.  

A bit too rapidly.

A bit too forced.

A bit too insincere.

       Apparently the teacher who my friend had told about this incident was 100% more than unhappy about it.  She told the girls that it was completely unacceptable and that they were to go get me and make known their "I'm sorry's."  So they did.

       The rest of the year went without another incident.  There were about 25 girls at my 11 year birthday party and about half of them were the offenders in this story.  We went to three years of middle school and four years of high school together.  There were different times after 5th grade that I hung around different girls from this story.  But, every time I did and every time I was around any of the guys (yep..there were also guys in this story..they were playing the game with us, but none of them ever actually played and none of them mentioned this incident around me ever again) I felt that heat.  That rush of embarrassment.  That feeling of "something is wrong with me."  

       Even though the issue at hand was immediately resolved, it is safe to say that I was never the same afterwards.  Not the next week, not the next year, not even now, 17 years later.  I will not say that this ran my life but it did change me.  I know the names of every single person involved.  I know the names of everyone who made a specific action towards me that day.  I have always felt slightly small around them since.  I still talk to some of them but the feelings are always there, always underlying.  I have always felt some sense of embarrassment, some sense of "I'm not as good as them."  Chances are that will never change.  

       This also changed me for the better.  Without a doubt I am more susceptible to noticing bullying when others can't seem to see what is really going on.  I can say I have never seen someone teased or seen a fight and not stepped in.  It's just not in me.  I can't sit back and watch it.  I refuse to see others being bullied, in any form of the word.  I don't ever want someone to feel the way I felt.  The way I feel.

And THAT is something I can be grateful for!


(statistics from The American Justice Department) 

Have a happy day~Kasey

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