I just loved my theme last year! It was nice to remind myself, in a positive way, of the changes I wanted to make rather than those resolutions that seem to just weigh me down. NO FEAR was truly amazing last year!
This year, I'm switching themes. Though what's nice about themes is that they are never far from your mind and you can keep those changes and ideas with you. I thought long and hard about this theme. I realized on December 30th that I didn't have one. I spent time thinking about what is was that I needed to change in my life and what I wanted to see fulfilled by the end of this new year. That night it basically spoke itself to me. I want to create closer relationships. Those don't happen overnight though. Thus my theme was born...
ONE STEP CLOSER to God. I pray. But I hear the way others pray and the type of relationship they have with their Heavenly Father. I am not there yet. Each day I need to pray, openly, honestly, earnestly, but in a way that brings me closer you Him, by speaking as I do with friends. Increasing my temple attendance will also bring me closer to God. Magnifying my church callings, studying my scriptures, searching through conference talks..there are lots of options here in what I can do to become closer to my Father in Heaven.
On that same note, ONE STEP CLOSER to Christ. I truly believe that the best way to know Him is to serve others, wholly and selflessly. I can also increase my relationship with Him through the scriptures.
And again, ONE STEP CLOSER to the Spirit. Throughout my life I have questioned whether these thoughts I receive are from my own crazy brain or truly from God. I often, way too often than I should probably admit, ignore those thoughts...or promptings.. I always determine to do better and I do..for about a minute! Many personal blessings have warned me to follow those thoughts and reminded me that the Spirit speaks to me often...the ball is clearly in my court! I also heard recently that if He is sending these messages thrpugh the Spirit but we aren't acting on them, then we will be given those prompting less and less and He will use someone He knows will do His work. I must follow those in order to increase my opportunities to have the Spirit in my life and I cannot learn to discern if I'm not following. Moroni 7:12-13 "Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually. But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God."
ONE STEP CLOSER to my husband. We were best friends. We enjoyed so much about each other. We still love each other dearly, but the demands of life...work, school, kids, money...have definitely affected the closeness we once shared. Life changes things. We haven't always been on the same page, but we have made progress lately and I want to continue that. Each day I need to be one step closer to the real "us." Laughing together, crying together, learning together, studying together, growing together, parenting together, dreaming together, experiencing together.
ONE STEP CLOSER to my children. I know I have great relationships with them..but even good things can become better! As they've grown and demands on my time changed, I actually do less with them than when they were younger. Crafts, playing games and toys (seriously I have the worst imagination as an adult!!!), even some simple traditions have been pushed aside. One-on-one time is there, but not as much as it should be, especially as they get older! I want them to continue to communicate with me about so many things..that will only continue if our closeness remains or increases.
ONE STEP CLOSER to my family. I have great parents and siblings. I need to make sure that I'm working on strengthening those relationships rather than disrupting them. Phone calls, letters, emails, pictures.. There are some extended members..aunts, uncles, cousins, on my side and Cory's that we are truly grateful for and love as our own immediate family. We must nurture those relationships or there won't really be much to call a "relationship."
ONE STEP CLOSER to friends. I used to pride myself on what a great friend is was. I always had best friends and large groups of friends. I always surrounded myself with lots of people and was always having people over. It's sooo not that way anymore. There is still a part of me...okay a large part...that misses that..that needs that. But it's just not as possible when you're an adult with a family! No matter how much I need social settings, I often find myself in a completely opposite situation. I sort of hole up and get in my own head, kind of keeping away from people..which is so not like me! Instead , I need to get out and make friends, fix bruised relationships, and be a better friend to those I do have.
ONE STEP CLOSER to me!! It's almost impossible to try and describe the differences in me now and me 10 years ago. Unless you knew me at both times, it's not something people can really grasp! That me is still me. It's what I desire out of life. It's what I dream of. It's who I am inside. But new insecurities and doubts have crept in, taken a hold of the real me, and choked it nearly out!! I want to look like me. I want to feel like me. I want to dream like me. I want to communicate like me. I want to laugh like me. I want to talk like me. I want to act like me. I want to love like me. I want to care lIke me. I want to cry like me. I want to be me!
I know this seems as daunting as a long list of resolutions. I don't think it will be though. Fixing and nurturing relationships is not an easy or a quick feat. But it's doable if we do it ONE STEP at a time, if we get ONE STEP CLOSER, then we are doing better than yesterday and if we continue taking steps, our relationships will be what we want, need, them to be.
Cheers to a healthy, happy 2016!! What are you working on this year???
Resolutions.
Goals.
Those words are always heard this month! This year I've decided to do away with the resolutions! That doesn't mean I'm just going to keep floating about life the way I have been, but I don't like the term "resolution" and I think they just get thrown to the wayside too often, and too quickly. I will still have goals and specific things I want to better myself in..but this year..I've decided to have a theme.
Don't get me wrong~I have major fears, like creepy crawling "s bugs" as we call them around here, and the huge fear of falling from large heights..those..those I know won't go away! But no fear in life.
NO FEAR of smiling and being confident in who I am, even though I'm still working on my body. Over the past few years, I've gained weight and as a result, I crawled into a shell. I'm not as outgoing as I used to be. As I really am. I subconsciously do it at times, but I end up catching myself and bringing it back in. I can't have the fear of being outgoing and social again.
NO FEAR of being a "mean mom" and sticking to my guns when I give the kids a consequence (likewise..no fear of taking a second before handing one out in order to not spout off some crazy nonsense)!! I have moments of "stick-to-it-iv-ness" but not every time when I need to be!
NO FEAR of holding my tongue when a snarky comment wants to just throw itself out. I have pretty witty comments that just want to fly out of my mouth without even thinking about it. I catch myself a few times but not enough!
NO FEAR of "letting my kids win" when I stop myself from yelling at them. I often get loud without thinking about it. Other times my sane me says, "you know you shouldn't be yelling! Stop it right now!!" While my insane me says, "Whatever, then your kids will win! They got you to stop! Don't stop, let 'em have it!" I need to let my kids win in that situation. In that case, we all win.
NO FEAR of reading the Book of Mormon from cover to cover (for the first time ever..shhhh)! I have read really far at times and even read all parts at one point in my life or another. I have not read it from front to back in consecutive readings. I need to!
NO FEAR of gut-wrenching laughter. I am a loud laugher. I can be heard for miles I'm sure. Some people hate it. But I love it. That's part of me. I don't do that often AT ALL anymore! When I do, I realize how much I miss it. So does my husband.
NO FEAR of continuing my exercise even though I often let my disappointment with my performance not being like it used to be. I get into a pretty good groove..then it happens..every single time. I realize my performance isn't good. I'm not running as fast or I'm not lasting as long or I'm REEEEEEALLY tired. Not like before. Not like when I was in shape. Those frustrations get to me. Instead of letting them push me, I run from them. They wear me down. I can't let that happen anymore.
NO FEAR of really delving in and learning more about my gospel. There are so many videos, articles, talks, messages, etc. available to us from our leaders. I read them, but not often enough. I need to really get in there and be uplifted by them on a daily basis.
NO FEAR of wearing makeup and doing myself up when I want to. And NO FEAR of not doing those things! I've never been good at makeup and hair. I'm not one that has to be done up in order to leave the house or have someone over. But, I am no longer going to be embarrassed when I want to look all perty up in here! ;) I also won't be too afraid to run to the store in my workout clothes or to be in my PJ's when someone stops by. Some days I will be dressed up and some days it just won't happen. Oh well!
NO FEAR of trying new things. I am not a crazy adventurous person, though honestly, I really wish I was! I do not ride roller coasters, water slides, or anything likewise where I would be going seriously fast on a falling motion! No thank you! I do not even do things like sledding or 4-wheeling without a large amount of anxiety beforehand. Even though I love them, I freak a lot before! I do not try a lot of new foods. I talk myself out of them. I think you get the drift! BUT~no more! I will try things (within a limit..I don't be bungee jumping or eating chocolate covered grasshoppers any time soon...or ever)! So far I've already jumped in and gone sledding for days with the kids without letting myself sit back and stress over it before getting in there. I've also tried a new dish at a restaurant..with shrimp..which is not a favorite..but it was good.
I could add more specific things on this no fear list, but I think I've made my point. There are so many small, daily things that can often hold us back. They do me. I'm not going to let them anymore. I will not be afraid! Jump in with me! What fear do you want to overcome this year?
Have a happy day~Kasey
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